My car goes into the shop today to be inspected. I hate spending money on my car. The other day I figured out how much we spend a month on our cars, and it was horrendous. SO MUCH MONEY. From car payments, gas and insurance, I literally would be rich without it. Makes me sometimes look at the Amish and start to think, but quickly shake my head. What if cards DIDN'T cost so much, just think how much extra money a month we would have.... (sigh) It also doesn't help I don't live somewhere where public transportation could help with that problem. Not that I would want to move just for public transportation, but damn, I can't even ride a bike anywhere.
I think this week is going to go slow, because there is nothing planned this week, and next weekend and the weekend after are going to be my fun weekends for this month. I can't wait to go to the beach next weekend, and after that it's my "not" surprise shower.
Let me just touch on the shower thing, YES it's not a surprise, and YES I didn't want it to be that way. Is that so hard to understand? WHY does it have to be a surprise? WHY do I have to show up somewhere, not prepared, not dressed to how I might have wanted to be dressed? Luckily, my mom knows me best, and told me about it. Good choice Mom. Besides, I wanted Ryan included as well, and a few of my ideas too (No, I am not planning my whole shower, even if that's what it seems.) It's going to be fun. It's more of the celebration I am looking forward to. Yes, it's suppose to be all about gifts (which we totally need, registered at Babies R Us - cough cough) BUT honestly, I am looking forward to spending the time with our families, celebrating this gift that will be coming in just 3 short months! That's why it's less of a "traditional" baby shower and more of a BBQ Party! JUST how I would have wanted it (You go Mom again, she knows me) I am super excited for it.
Hello 28 weeks. It's hard to believe I am now 7 months pregnant. With 3 months to go, I'm starting to get antsy on things. Maybe it's nesting, but not to the full effect yet. I know things that I want to organize and clean, but still just look at them, so I haven't hit the, IT MUST BE DONE NOW stage. It's getting there though. I'm actually thinking about making an organized schedule of what I want to get done before the baby is due, that way I get those things done earlier and not rushing at the end, when I am sure I am not going to want to be doing much of anything really.
I think I'll make that now actually...
Happy Tuesday.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
Creating Life, one stress at a time
I debated if I wanted to write this post, it's a little personal, but I find it sometimes nice to get things out in the open. Although keeping certain things a secret is perfectly fine, I believe somethings are beneficial for someone to talk about. So, if you have some time sit back and enjoy, because it's a long one.
I wanted to share our little journey of conception, and don't worry, I won't get into too much detail. I'll spare you.
To really start from the beginning, you might want to read THIS POST. I've mentioned in previous posts about having PCOS, weight gain, and other complications I have had to go through. That post gives you the rundown of my history with PCOS, from when I was diagnosed to the horrible conversations I had with multiple doctors telling me that I may never have a baby.
...and boy were they wrong.
After finally finding a great doctor, a specialist up at Penn State Hershey hospital, I began my journey, so after many tests and appointments, and finally a diagnosis and a plan, he told me that when Ryan and I were ready to have a baby to come back and see him.
Ryan and I began to discuss it a little here and there. Our hopes of when. I was pretty excited/scared/anxious, you name it. I was definitely ready, wayyy before Ryan was. I didn't want to push him though, I wanted HIM to be ready as well. So, I told him, when you know you are ready, you tell me, and I'll make my DR. apt.
He finally said the words one night to me, "I think I'd like to have a baby now"
Such sweet words! I was super happy... and made the appointment the next day. I had to wait a few months (I believe 2ish) to get in.
I knew it could be a long ordeal. Who knew what I would have to go through, or for how long. I was scared that maybe those other doctors would be right, that I would never become a momma. I tried to keep those thoughts tucked away... I needed to have HOPE, and I never let that hope go away, even when people told me not to get my hopes up. What else did I have?
I had to have a few procedures done before I could start my first treatment. One procedure was not very fun, but I got through it. (Let me add that insurance DOES NOT cover infertility treatments - one more added stress)
Finally about 4 months after we decided we were ready, it was time to take my first round. We decided to start out with just taking a fertility drug called Clomid. An easy pill that you take for 5 days. Let me tell you though, HOLY HORMONES. I felt so bad for my husband, HAH. The last 2 days I was a hormonal wreck. I can remember yelling at him for everything, I was like a walking bomb and I knew it. That was the worst part, it was like I couldn't help myself. I just remember telling myself, "my poor husband." He took it like a champ though, he was so sweet with it all. I also was crying for no reasons really, I remember watching a movie at my parents and I just started bawling my eyes out. My mom laughed so hard as I was gulping yelling "DAMN YOU HORMONES." Good times...
As I approached the end of my cycle, I was SURE that this was not the month. Not the first month? I was told it could take a couple rounds to work. I was also feeling mother nature come on. I knew I was going to be starting round 2 in just a week. Well, that due date came, and nothing. Hmm. Well, I was use to never having a normal schedule anyway, maybe this was how it was suppose to be. Hmm.
A friend of mine who I was confiding in through this journey (only a few people knew that we were trying, people I trusted, people I could talk to it about. I just didn't want the whole world to know, at least not yet.) convinced me to take a test Friday morning if I hadn't gotten good old Aunt Flo yet. Well Friday morning arrived. At this time I was working at my previous employer and it was my LAST day there to top it off. So, as Ryan left for work, I snuck into the bathroom and took a test.
Within 2 seconds... yes very quickly it came up a serious positive, there was no denying it was positive. Both lines were so dark. I just sat there looking at it.... was this FOR-REAL? Yep. I started to cry, and cried for about 10 minutes there sitting on the toilet. (haha) So, after I got myself together, I ventured off to work...
I was so excited. I ran out to the store on my lunch break, and got Ryan a few things to give to him that night to break the news to him. On top of the day already being crazy because it was my last day of work, I was in agony with this little secret I had. I couldn't wait to tell Ryan. I kept texting him all day, he eventually started to realize, something was up.
Finally, I got home and I had a little gift for him that I put out on his chair and told him I had a gift for him. He of course thought that he had forgotten and anniversary or something, and exclaimed, "WHAT, what did I forget, I didn't get you anything." I told him to just open it! So, he did and inside was a card, a cute little outfit, and some "Dad" scrapbooking items and of course the Positive Test. He was thrilled.
I called the Doctors office first thing Monday morning, and they got us in 2 days later to confirm that I was INDEED pregnant! I even got the chance to have an ultrasound then at 5 1/2 weeks. You couldn't really see anything yet, but you could see his home, it was awesome. I was going to be a Momma.
In the weeks to follow we told close family and friends, and when I was comfortable at around 14 weeks we told the world. It was so great to finally get it out there, what a secret to keep in!
I just couldn't believe that after one round we were blessed with our little boy. I can't even imagine going through more rounds, or other methods of treatment (which would have been next for us) I sit there and think how blessed we were that we only had to go through that one month, because it's stressful enough trying to have a baby, but add on the million DR appointments, the high medical bills NOT covered, it starts to get to you, but as everyone would say it's worth it.
Looking back at the month, there were definitely signals to me, signs of early pregnancy. I can remember the week or so before just being incredibly tired, to the point I was dozing off sitting at my desk or going places. I was exhausted. The cramps? Yeah, that was just baby making his comfy home. And those cramps happened off and on for a few weeks (hated that, talk about scary - I remember one time freaking out and having a breakdown thinking that something awful was going to happen)
BUT, here I am 7 months later, with a big old boy rolling around in my tummy. All of it was worth it, and to the Doctors that told me I would never have a baby (I remember it as if it was yesterday) TAKE THAT. Who knows what the future will bring if we decide to have more kids (Ryan is all about it) and if I will have to go through the fertility again, or maybe not. Either way, I have no doubt now that God has a plan for everyone, it's all in HIS timing. I keep faith in that. He gave me this precious gift because he knew I was ready for him. There is always a reason.
We can't wait to become parents. I know it'll be no easy task, and there will be many, many more stressful nights, but it's all apart of life.
and.. I'm ready.
I wanted to share our little journey of conception, and don't worry, I won't get into too much detail. I'll spare you.
To really start from the beginning, you might want to read THIS POST. I've mentioned in previous posts about having PCOS, weight gain, and other complications I have had to go through. That post gives you the rundown of my history with PCOS, from when I was diagnosed to the horrible conversations I had with multiple doctors telling me that I may never have a baby.
...and boy were they wrong.
After finally finding a great doctor, a specialist up at Penn State Hershey hospital, I began my journey, so after many tests and appointments, and finally a diagnosis and a plan, he told me that when Ryan and I were ready to have a baby to come back and see him.
Ryan and I began to discuss it a little here and there. Our hopes of when. I was pretty excited/scared/anxious, you name it. I was definitely ready, wayyy before Ryan was. I didn't want to push him though, I wanted HIM to be ready as well. So, I told him, when you know you are ready, you tell me, and I'll make my DR. apt.
He finally said the words one night to me, "I think I'd like to have a baby now"
Such sweet words! I was super happy... and made the appointment the next day. I had to wait a few months (I believe 2ish) to get in.
I knew it could be a long ordeal. Who knew what I would have to go through, or for how long. I was scared that maybe those other doctors would be right, that I would never become a momma. I tried to keep those thoughts tucked away... I needed to have HOPE, and I never let that hope go away, even when people told me not to get my hopes up. What else did I have?
I had to have a few procedures done before I could start my first treatment. One procedure was not very fun, but I got through it. (Let me add that insurance DOES NOT cover infertility treatments - one more added stress)
Finally about 4 months after we decided we were ready, it was time to take my first round. We decided to start out with just taking a fertility drug called Clomid. An easy pill that you take for 5 days. Let me tell you though, HOLY HORMONES. I felt so bad for my husband, HAH. The last 2 days I was a hormonal wreck. I can remember yelling at him for everything, I was like a walking bomb and I knew it. That was the worst part, it was like I couldn't help myself. I just remember telling myself, "my poor husband." He took it like a champ though, he was so sweet with it all. I also was crying for no reasons really, I remember watching a movie at my parents and I just started bawling my eyes out. My mom laughed so hard as I was gulping yelling "DAMN YOU HORMONES." Good times...
As I approached the end of my cycle, I was SURE that this was not the month. Not the first month? I was told it could take a couple rounds to work. I was also feeling mother nature come on. I knew I was going to be starting round 2 in just a week. Well, that due date came, and nothing. Hmm. Well, I was use to never having a normal schedule anyway, maybe this was how it was suppose to be. Hmm.
A friend of mine who I was confiding in through this journey (only a few people knew that we were trying, people I trusted, people I could talk to it about. I just didn't want the whole world to know, at least not yet.) convinced me to take a test Friday morning if I hadn't gotten good old Aunt Flo yet. Well Friday morning arrived. At this time I was working at my previous employer and it was my LAST day there to top it off. So, as Ryan left for work, I snuck into the bathroom and took a test.
Within 2 seconds... yes very quickly it came up a serious positive, there was no denying it was positive. Both lines were so dark. I just sat there looking at it.... was this FOR-REAL? Yep. I started to cry, and cried for about 10 minutes there sitting on the toilet. (haha) So, after I got myself together, I ventured off to work...
I was so excited. I ran out to the store on my lunch break, and got Ryan a few things to give to him that night to break the news to him. On top of the day already being crazy because it was my last day of work, I was in agony with this little secret I had. I couldn't wait to tell Ryan. I kept texting him all day, he eventually started to realize, something was up.
Finally, I got home and I had a little gift for him that I put out on his chair and told him I had a gift for him. He of course thought that he had forgotten and anniversary or something, and exclaimed, "WHAT, what did I forget, I didn't get you anything." I told him to just open it! So, he did and inside was a card, a cute little outfit, and some "Dad" scrapbooking items and of course the Positive Test. He was thrilled.
I called the Doctors office first thing Monday morning, and they got us in 2 days later to confirm that I was INDEED pregnant! I even got the chance to have an ultrasound then at 5 1/2 weeks. You couldn't really see anything yet, but you could see his home, it was awesome. I was going to be a Momma.
In the weeks to follow we told close family and friends, and when I was comfortable at around 14 weeks we told the world. It was so great to finally get it out there, what a secret to keep in!
I just couldn't believe that after one round we were blessed with our little boy. I can't even imagine going through more rounds, or other methods of treatment (which would have been next for us) I sit there and think how blessed we were that we only had to go through that one month, because it's stressful enough trying to have a baby, but add on the million DR appointments, the high medical bills NOT covered, it starts to get to you, but as everyone would say it's worth it.
Looking back at the month, there were definitely signals to me, signs of early pregnancy. I can remember the week or so before just being incredibly tired, to the point I was dozing off sitting at my desk or going places. I was exhausted. The cramps? Yeah, that was just baby making his comfy home. And those cramps happened off and on for a few weeks (hated that, talk about scary - I remember one time freaking out and having a breakdown thinking that something awful was going to happen)
BUT, here I am 7 months later, with a big old boy rolling around in my tummy. All of it was worth it, and to the Doctors that told me I would never have a baby (I remember it as if it was yesterday) TAKE THAT. Who knows what the future will bring if we decide to have more kids (Ryan is all about it) and if I will have to go through the fertility again, or maybe not. Either way, I have no doubt now that God has a plan for everyone, it's all in HIS timing. I keep faith in that. He gave me this precious gift because he knew I was ready for him. There is always a reason.
We can't wait to become parents. I know it'll be no easy task, and there will be many, many more stressful nights, but it's all apart of life.
and.. I'm ready.
 |
| The first ultrasound at 5 1/21 weeks. You couldn't see him yet, but you could see his home. |
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Home-life at it's finest.
Ryan and I don't live in your southern small small town, although we wish we did sometimes, but we like to think we live in a nice secluded area. One where people say, "Where's that?" or when they visit they say, "you live in the middle of no-where!" That's exactly how we like it too. If it wasn't for our families, and just loving the area we grew up around, we probably would have moved down south in the mountains somewhere, we've talked about it before.
What I enjoy most about my home, is the quietness... the beauty of acres of farmland, woods, the fact that we have our space. Our roads not completely bare, there are houses on it, we have a neighbor behind us, and a soon to be house on the other back side where they sold some land (not happy about that) but after our house, it's my parents farm, and more farms... and sometimes just nothing. I love that.
Ryan and I could never be city people, there's nothing wrong with that, we just couldn't do it. I like to think we like the quiet, simpleness of life. We like to, and are striving each year to be more self-sufficient. With our gardening, Ryan hunting, and raising animals that could potentially keep us fed if anything were to happen. We like making our meals from our home grown food, and trying to do things around the house to make us more efficient.
I believe we're the type of people that if the world were to go to crap, we would be just fine. We'd have each other, and everything to keep us going (just about, still working on some aspects) I wouldn't call us "preppers" like some of the shows you see on TV, although we do have some prepper stuff on hand, you know, just in case. We like to call ourselves independent... the fact that we would love to have a place off in the woods, alone, living off the land would be great... but I'd miss my family too much, and my friends... and that is why we stay here.
But that's ok, because I do truly love my home, my life, and us building our family on the values of being independent. I don't want my kids to grow up getting everything they want with a snap of a finger, it just doesn't build character and knowing your self-worth.
Our life may not be exactly how we dream, but we're working towards making it pretty darn close. The things we love may not be for everyone, and that is perfectly fine, as we don't hold it against anyone for doing things the way they want. Luckily, Ryan and I share a mutual agreement on how we want to do things in our lives, how we picture home-life at it's finest.
I'm not saying we're perfect at this life, that we want to be hermits and have no contact with the outside world. We still go to the grocery store obviously, still buy clothes (because I suck at sewing anyways) but if there is anything that we can do that can save us some money, or help keep us going one more day without the need of help from someone or something else, then we are all for it.
If we got caught in a time travel device and landed back in time where there was no electricity, and people relied on each other and the land, I'd like to think that we might be happy... we wouldn't have all the luxuries we have today, but I think we would do alright, and I hope that our son as he grows aquires these skills, because who knows what he will see in his lifetime, who knows what this crazy world will bring to us.
Sitting on my back patio, drinking coffee in the crisp air, hearing the calls of our quail (so cute) and having this view? I love it. I'm proud to say that we know who we are, or at least, who we are striving to be. I mean, we're just starting out, we're young, but in time we'll have everything how we want at our home, one piece at a time. What do you love most about your home-life?
What I enjoy most about my home, is the quietness... the beauty of acres of farmland, woods, the fact that we have our space. Our roads not completely bare, there are houses on it, we have a neighbor behind us, and a soon to be house on the other back side where they sold some land (not happy about that) but after our house, it's my parents farm, and more farms... and sometimes just nothing. I love that.
 |
| View from front of house |
I believe we're the type of people that if the world were to go to crap, we would be just fine. We'd have each other, and everything to keep us going (just about, still working on some aspects) I wouldn't call us "preppers" like some of the shows you see on TV, although we do have some prepper stuff on hand, you know, just in case. We like to call ourselves independent... the fact that we would love to have a place off in the woods, alone, living off the land would be great... but I'd miss my family too much, and my friends... and that is why we stay here.
 |
| Ryan building the wood shed for our fire wood for Winter |
 |
Our life may not be exactly how we dream, but we're working towards making it pretty darn close. The things we love may not be for everyone, and that is perfectly fine, as we don't hold it against anyone for doing things the way they want. Luckily, Ryan and I share a mutual agreement on how we want to do things in our lives, how we picture home-life at it's finest.
I'm not saying we're perfect at this life, that we want to be hermits and have no contact with the outside world. We still go to the grocery store obviously, still buy clothes (because I suck at sewing anyways) but if there is anything that we can do that can save us some money, or help keep us going one more day without the need of help from someone or something else, then we are all for it.
If we got caught in a time travel device and landed back in time where there was no electricity, and people relied on each other and the land, I'd like to think that we might be happy... we wouldn't have all the luxuries we have today, but I think we would do alright, and I hope that our son as he grows aquires these skills, because who knows what he will see in his lifetime, who knows what this crazy world will bring to us.
Sitting on my back patio, drinking coffee in the crisp air, hearing the calls of our quail (so cute) and having this view? I love it. I'm proud to say that we know who we are, or at least, who we are striving to be. I mean, we're just starting out, we're young, but in time we'll have everything how we want at our home, one piece at a time. What do you love most about your home-life?
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Back to life...
Hi there... Remember me?
Yep, still here, still breathing. Although somedays I seem to run around so much I can't catch my breath.
But, I'm back in action, and will hopefully continue to write about my oh so awesome and sometimes boring life.
I feel like my days are filled with stuff, just stuff. Sometimes this stuff is mere work and projects and nothing. Hopefully I can give myself a few minutes of each day to continue to write about my days, because I do enjoy it.
Well... To sum up my last month could take a few days but in short.... Been working on house projects (of course) got a kitty named Skeeter, had family get together with oh so funny pie eating contest, and that's it. So, don't worry, you haven't missed much!
I'll post some pics below. Tomorrow I'm going to see the last twilight (sigh) think what you wish, but I can't wait to see it but I don't want it to end!
Have a great weekend folks.... I'm glad I'm back.
Yep, still here, still breathing. Although somedays I seem to run around so much I can't catch my breath.
But, I'm back in action, and will hopefully continue to write about my oh so awesome and sometimes boring life.
I feel like my days are filled with stuff, just stuff. Sometimes this stuff is mere work and projects and nothing. Hopefully I can give myself a few minutes of each day to continue to write about my days, because I do enjoy it.
Well... To sum up my last month could take a few days but in short.... Been working on house projects (of course) got a kitty named Skeeter, had family get together with oh so funny pie eating contest, and that's it. So, don't worry, you haven't missed much!
I'll post some pics below. Tomorrow I'm going to see the last twilight (sigh) think what you wish, but I can't wait to see it but I don't want it to end!
Have a great weekend folks.... I'm glad I'm back.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Story of my life
If any of you don't know yet... I quit smoking.
It's been almost a month now.. and not one slip up. I admit, I miss it. I've come to find out that it wasn't really the nicotine, or the habit of smoking them, it was the enjoyment that has made me think of them.
Yes, the nicotine like they say is the hardest for the first 3 days... then it's out of your body... THEN I had to deal with the habit.
Mostly everyday I had a cigarette at the same time... the exact same time. Ugh... it was painful.
Eventually, I just forgot about it. But, the enjoyment.. I still have not forgotten. I know it was bad for me, yada yada yada... but that doesn't mean I didn't like it. Oh, the enjoyment. That is what I'm dealing with now after almost a month. It's those times where I'm like... "damn, it would be really nice to have a cigarette right now." NOT because I need one, because I want one. Big difference.
Either way... it sucks. I've quit.. I wont pick it back up, it's not worth it obviously to my body, or my wallet.
But, there were people who didn't think I could do it (cough cough, my husband) and I think I've done a pretty damn good job of quitting thus far.
So there.
In the meantime.. I've picked up some more habits... to fill the space of THAT habit. They include... chewing my fingers, biting my lips, and eating. Oh yes, eating. This.. I have just noticed.. primarily on the scale, so back to the diet it is. I've got to kick THAT nasty habit right away.
Oh the joys... you do one thing to become healthy, and end up doing more un-healthy things.
It's been almost a month now.. and not one slip up. I admit, I miss it. I've come to find out that it wasn't really the nicotine, or the habit of smoking them, it was the enjoyment that has made me think of them.
Yes, the nicotine like they say is the hardest for the first 3 days... then it's out of your body... THEN I had to deal with the habit.
Mostly everyday I had a cigarette at the same time... the exact same time. Ugh... it was painful.
Eventually, I just forgot about it. But, the enjoyment.. I still have not forgotten. I know it was bad for me, yada yada yada... but that doesn't mean I didn't like it. Oh, the enjoyment. That is what I'm dealing with now after almost a month. It's those times where I'm like... "damn, it would be really nice to have a cigarette right now." NOT because I need one, because I want one. Big difference.
Either way... it sucks. I've quit.. I wont pick it back up, it's not worth it obviously to my body, or my wallet.
But, there were people who didn't think I could do it (cough cough, my husband) and I think I've done a pretty damn good job of quitting thus far.
So there.
In the meantime.. I've picked up some more habits... to fill the space of THAT habit. They include... chewing my fingers, biting my lips, and eating. Oh yes, eating. This.. I have just noticed.. primarily on the scale, so back to the diet it is. I've got to kick THAT nasty habit right away.
Oh the joys... you do one thing to become healthy, and end up doing more un-healthy things.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Take a chance on life
Recently, I had the opportunity to try something great... a chance to maybe, just maybe, change my life.
The possibilities? Endless.
I'm so ready for a change in my life... and I believe this could be it. For once in my life, I can see myself being where I want to be. This won't obviously happen over night... but in time, I could be there.
I'll of course share more in time.. because I believe this opportunity I was given, could not only help me physically and financially.. but I believe it could help many of you also.
Sometimes we have to take risks to get to where we want to be. You're dreams are only as far as you can reach, the hardest part is actually reaching out to grab them.
Well, I'm reaching out.
The possibilities? Endless.
I'm so ready for a change in my life... and I believe this could be it. For once in my life, I can see myself being where I want to be. This won't obviously happen over night... but in time, I could be there.
I'll of course share more in time.. because I believe this opportunity I was given, could not only help me physically and financially.. but I believe it could help many of you also.
Sometimes we have to take risks to get to where we want to be. You're dreams are only as far as you can reach, the hardest part is actually reaching out to grab them.
Well, I'm reaching out.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
No life it seems...
It seems any more these days that I feel like I have no life...
This whole living on your own, it can be time consuming, seriously. I'm sure most of you get it, or are thinking that I am being a big baby, oh well.
Don't get me wrong, I love everyday. I love having our own space, doing our things, living our lives... but sometimes I would love to be able to come home and relax. I'm pretty sure this word relax will never happen again in my life, especially when we decide to start a family. I might as well get use to it now.
I love being busy.. that's definitely my thing. I would probably go crazy if I just sat at home all day and didn't do anything... my mind has to constantly be going. So, it's no big deal.
Maybe its because I feel I get home late (6ish?) Which isn't like super late, but later then most... even if I got home an hour earlier I would feel I had so much more time to do things. I come home... clean up the kitchen, make dinner, and by time it's done.. it is almost 8 o'clock. Just like it is now... and I just finished making dinner. Although, I have to say I make some kicking dinners, the husband is always impressed. On tonights menu? Poor man crab cakes... they are made with zucchini.. the cheap way, and let me tell you, we have zucchini coming out our ears from our garden. I decide to TRIPLE the batch, because that is just how any zucchinis we have. BUT, instead of just zucchini cakes, I decided to spice it up a bit and put a little bit of actual crab meat in them. My Poor man's crab cakes are more like.. Semi-poor man's crab cakes. Yummm.. We'll probably eat 1 batch and freeze the other 2 for another meal.. win.
We have been busy keeping up with the garden.. just look below at what we picked last night. On top of already 8 quarts of green beans I froze over the weekend. We will be set for winter I think.
We've also been pretty busy working on this... something we have been wanting to put into my flower/herb garden. A pretty fish pond! We got a great deal on this pond, too good to pass up! We finally got it in, with lots of work.
Of course, Ryan thought it would make for a great pool... it be more like a hot tub in this heat. But, couldn't pass up a photo on this..
Life is good.. busy, but good.
Amberlee
Friday, June 1, 2012
So many things...
Tonight I head to New Jersey to spend the weekend with some friends. We are all heading to the XTU Country Concert at the Susquehanna Bank Center in Camden, NJ for an all day affair of nothing but countryyy.
So e.x.c.i.t.e.d!! There are going to be some great artists there, including, Miranda Lambert and Chris Young, just to name a few (big ones!) It's going to be a day of tail-gating and fun.
I won't be home until Sunday morning/afternoon... somewhere in between there. At this point, I am so ready for a mini-vaca, even if I'm not going very far, and it's over my weekend anyway.
I'm torn with a decision right now, and I don't want to go into details too much, until I've made my decision. It's not something life changing, but it's not a small decision either. I'm on the fence, and I keep going back and forth over the fence.
I think it's one of those things were my heart says one thing, but my brain says no. Which one do I go with?
I know.. they always say go with your heart.
I hate decisions. Especially since this one seems simple, yet, hard altogether. I'm going to really think it through this weekend, and hopefully decide on something. Of course, I will fill you all in when the time is right.
Like I said, it's not life changing, just a small decision I have to make. I just don't want to jump into something before I know what I want... (and no, it's not about me having kids) I know some of my readers will think that instantly.
Not yet at least.
Have a great weekend everyone... I'll be back in a few days.
So e.x.c.i.t.e.d!! There are going to be some great artists there, including, Miranda Lambert and Chris Young, just to name a few (big ones!) It's going to be a day of tail-gating and fun.
I won't be home until Sunday morning/afternoon... somewhere in between there. At this point, I am so ready for a mini-vaca, even if I'm not going very far, and it's over my weekend anyway.
I'm torn with a decision right now, and I don't want to go into details too much, until I've made my decision. It's not something life changing, but it's not a small decision either. I'm on the fence, and I keep going back and forth over the fence.
I think it's one of those things were my heart says one thing, but my brain says no. Which one do I go with?
I know.. they always say go with your heart.
I hate decisions. Especially since this one seems simple, yet, hard altogether. I'm going to really think it through this weekend, and hopefully decide on something. Of course, I will fill you all in when the time is right.
Like I said, it's not life changing, just a small decision I have to make. I just don't want to jump into something before I know what I want... (and no, it's not about me having kids) I know some of my readers will think that instantly.
Not yet at least.
Have a great weekend everyone... I'll be back in a few days.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Suck it up.
This week is busy... like every other week of course.
From finishing up painting, to finishing up all the odd and end projects that have been just sitting around the house. I can't wait until I can come home from work one day, and not have a project that needs to be done this instant. I know there will be forever projects, but these seem to have to be done now.
I'm on a deadline people. From family coming in and staying with us, to the housewarming party that I would SOMEDAY like to have. Who knows if that is ever going to happen either.
It'll be nice to be able to relax one day, maybe? That's OK, who needs sleep anyway?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that we are "settled" in... if you want to say it that way, although my previous ^^ comments say were not.. I need to get back on my diet...
ugh.
That's what I have to say about that.
I need to lose another 45 pounds... I set a goal to do it by my birthday, which is in October. I know it can be done, most definitely, it's my motivation that's going.."nahh.. you're fine.. eat that damn ice cream already"
Stupid motivation... I need to find some.. and stop holding myself back. I want to, I sooo desperately want to lose the rest.. I've already lost 50.. I know I can do it.. I just need to start.
The sad thing is.. I don't eat bad, I really don't. I just need to workout, everyday... twice a day if I want to lose it quicker. Probably, not the healthiest way.. but I know I can maintain it, if I just get there. If PCOS wasn't so called, in my life, I wouldn't even be having this conversation with myself. But, what can you do? I need to suck it up is what I need to do.
I sound so harsh on myself, but honestly? It's the only way to get my ass moving in the right direction...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, I was at this point where I thought I knew what I wanted in life... job.. kids.. etc. Now? I'm not so sure. I won't go into details too much.. but my mind is a little bit everywhere. that feeling of, What am I doing, What do I want to do, and What am I going to do to get there?
Life is so hard, so I say, although many people would tell me my life isn't hard. I would agree. But, everyone has their struggles... some worse then others.
I need to suck it up in that area too.
Today is just a suck it up type of day.
From finishing up painting, to finishing up all the odd and end projects that have been just sitting around the house. I can't wait until I can come home from work one day, and not have a project that needs to be done this instant. I know there will be forever projects, but these seem to have to be done now.
I'm on a deadline people. From family coming in and staying with us, to the housewarming party that I would SOMEDAY like to have. Who knows if that is ever going to happen either.
It'll be nice to be able to relax one day, maybe? That's OK, who needs sleep anyway?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that we are "settled" in... if you want to say it that way, although my previous ^^ comments say were not.. I need to get back on my diet...
ugh.
That's what I have to say about that.
I need to lose another 45 pounds... I set a goal to do it by my birthday, which is in October. I know it can be done, most definitely, it's my motivation that's going.."nahh.. you're fine.. eat that damn ice cream already"
Stupid motivation... I need to find some.. and stop holding myself back. I want to, I sooo desperately want to lose the rest.. I've already lost 50.. I know I can do it.. I just need to start.
The sad thing is.. I don't eat bad, I really don't. I just need to workout, everyday... twice a day if I want to lose it quicker. Probably, not the healthiest way.. but I know I can maintain it, if I just get there. If PCOS wasn't so called, in my life, I wouldn't even be having this conversation with myself. But, what can you do? I need to suck it up is what I need to do.
I sound so harsh on myself, but honestly? It's the only way to get my ass moving in the right direction...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, I was at this point where I thought I knew what I wanted in life... job.. kids.. etc. Now? I'm not so sure. I won't go into details too much.. but my mind is a little bit everywhere. that feeling of, What am I doing, What do I want to do, and What am I going to do to get there?
Life is so hard, so I say, although many people would tell me my life isn't hard. I would agree. But, everyone has their struggles... some worse then others.
I need to suck it up in that area too.
Today is just a suck it up type of day.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Eventually, we all move forward
Everyday you work towards something.... whether it be getting a good grade when your in school, to passing that big exam to get you into college... to graduating.. to finding a job that will help you start a career... to finding your one true love to marry... have kids.... get a house...
This is life.
Everyday we work hard... we have dreams. Everyday it brings you closer to the things you want the most.
Eventually, we all move forward.
Well, in two days I am about to move forward into a part of my life that I have been waiting ever so patiently for, moving out.
Finally, after being together for over 5 years, married for 7 months, Ryan and I are getting our own home!
Our very own place to call home, begin our lives together, and move forward.
It can be scary, exciting, so many emotions piled into such a short hectic time. I have all of those feelings running through my head.
Sometimes, things happen in a way we never imagined they would. Sudden changes, but in the end, they always turn out for the best, in ways we never imagined. Everything has a reason for happening the way it does.
I might be a little absent in these next few days, as I begin to get really really busy painting, fixing, and moving into my new home.
Don't worry, I will have lots of pics and details to tell once I can sit down for a minute. I'm as excited about moving as being able to share this moment with you all as well.
This is life.
Everyday we work hard... we have dreams. Everyday it brings you closer to the things you want the most.
Eventually, we all move forward.
Well, in two days I am about to move forward into a part of my life that I have been waiting ever so patiently for, moving out.
Finally, after being together for over 5 years, married for 7 months, Ryan and I are getting our own home!
Our very own place to call home, begin our lives together, and move forward.
It can be scary, exciting, so many emotions piled into such a short hectic time. I have all of those feelings running through my head.
Sometimes, things happen in a way we never imagined they would. Sudden changes, but in the end, they always turn out for the best, in ways we never imagined. Everything has a reason for happening the way it does.
I might be a little absent in these next few days, as I begin to get really really busy painting, fixing, and moving into my new home.
Don't worry, I will have lots of pics and details to tell once I can sit down for a minute. I'm as excited about moving as being able to share this moment with you all as well.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Decisions.. Decisions..
So you can see that I gave the blog a little bit of a makeover...
As I was looking around the blog.. figuring out a few changes down the road that might occur, I sat there and thought about my blog title.
I'm still new at this blogging... been doing it about a year now... and of course when I started to blog, I had to just come up with a title to get it going. I did give it a good bit of thoughts... you know, what I would be writing about, and what the blog could turn into. I had no idea really.
It pretty much has stayed within the realms as I thought it would. Just a day to day review of my days, thoughts, visions, interests, hobbies, but most importantly my dreams as I continue to build my life, and everything being so new.
From getting engaged, to my wedding... to now being on the verge of finally getting into our new home. Dreams, and lots of them, and many many more to come!
So, my blog is titled... Life with a dream.... and it's still completely there.. my Life, and the many many dreams I have, but part of me just doesn't feel like the title is complete.
I thought about it yesterday, and wanted to see my readers opinions.. I know you're out there (I have stats people) So leave me a comment on here with what you think about this new title I am proposing.
As much as this blog is about me.. and the things I do... it's now also about Ryan and I.. and our dreams and day to day adventures. Our life together as one, and honestly, I just kind of like this name a little better...
So, here it is, what do you think?
Two Hearts One Dream....
As I was looking around the blog.. figuring out a few changes down the road that might occur, I sat there and thought about my blog title.
I'm still new at this blogging... been doing it about a year now... and of course when I started to blog, I had to just come up with a title to get it going. I did give it a good bit of thoughts... you know, what I would be writing about, and what the blog could turn into. I had no idea really.
It pretty much has stayed within the realms as I thought it would. Just a day to day review of my days, thoughts, visions, interests, hobbies, but most importantly my dreams as I continue to build my life, and everything being so new.
From getting engaged, to my wedding... to now being on the verge of finally getting into our new home. Dreams, and lots of them, and many many more to come!
So, my blog is titled... Life with a dream.... and it's still completely there.. my Life, and the many many dreams I have, but part of me just doesn't feel like the title is complete.
I thought about it yesterday, and wanted to see my readers opinions.. I know you're out there (I have stats people) So leave me a comment on here with what you think about this new title I am proposing.
As much as this blog is about me.. and the things I do... it's now also about Ryan and I.. and our dreams and day to day adventures. Our life together as one, and honestly, I just kind of like this name a little better...
So, here it is, what do you think?
Two Hearts One Dream....
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
3 Big Words....
It's one of those days where I just want to bitch.. bitch.. bitch..
But, I'll save you the agony.
I will say though, that stress, aggravation, annoyance, are all words floating through my mind right now, with a few other ones in there too.
And it's not all about one thing either... it's multiple things.. multiple problems, people, life.. etc.
It's all stressing me out... aggravating me.. and most definitely annoying me.
There... that's all I'm going to say.
I hope that things can just go as planned... go the way that I hope them to go... I guess time will tell.
Until then... this lady is like a ticking time bomb I tell ya.. watch out.
I need a drink to defuse me...
But, I'll save you the agony.
I will say though, that stress, aggravation, annoyance, are all words floating through my mind right now, with a few other ones in there too.
And it's not all about one thing either... it's multiple things.. multiple problems, people, life.. etc.
It's all stressing me out... aggravating me.. and most definitely annoying me.
There... that's all I'm going to say.
I hope that things can just go as planned... go the way that I hope them to go... I guess time will tell.
Until then... this lady is like a ticking time bomb I tell ya.. watch out.
I need a drink to defuse me...
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Life can change in a minute...
It's crazy how in just a second, your life can change forever.
It could be good, it could be bad. No one ever knows where the day will take them, where the hour will take them. Just like that, in an instant, everything could change.
It's kind of scary right? You try and have faith that everything goes good each day.. but when the worst happens to people around you it's hard to keep thinking that tomorrow won't bring surprises.
On Tuesday night, a friend and co-worker of mine was seriously injured in a hiking accident. You can read his story here.
He is lucky to be alive.
It all gets so real when things happen like this... who would have ever thought? I'm sure not him, but in an instant things change, accidents happen, your life changes forever, and there is nothing you can do about it.
When you work with someone for 9 hours a day... you get to know them pretty well. I always say... You have your family at home, and (if your lucky enough to have great people to work with) you have your family at work. You spend more time with the people you work with, then your actual family.
I pray and hope for his speedy recovery.. and that everything goes well in his healing process. It's going to be a long road to his recovery with the extent to his injuries. He is young and strong and I have no doubt that he is going to pull through this just fine.
We all should really sit back and feel blessed for each and everyday we have... each day we are given good health...
In just a moment it could change, this is the world we live in...
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend.
Amberlee
It could be good, it could be bad. No one ever knows where the day will take them, where the hour will take them. Just like that, in an instant, everything could change.
It's kind of scary right? You try and have faith that everything goes good each day.. but when the worst happens to people around you it's hard to keep thinking that tomorrow won't bring surprises.
On Tuesday night, a friend and co-worker of mine was seriously injured in a hiking accident. You can read his story here.
He is lucky to be alive.
It all gets so real when things happen like this... who would have ever thought? I'm sure not him, but in an instant things change, accidents happen, your life changes forever, and there is nothing you can do about it.
When you work with someone for 9 hours a day... you get to know them pretty well. I always say... You have your family at home, and (if your lucky enough to have great people to work with) you have your family at work. You spend more time with the people you work with, then your actual family.
I pray and hope for his speedy recovery.. and that everything goes well in his healing process. It's going to be a long road to his recovery with the extent to his injuries. He is young and strong and I have no doubt that he is going to pull through this just fine.
We all should really sit back and feel blessed for each and everyday we have... each day we are given good health...
In just a moment it could change, this is the world we live in...
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend.
Amberlee
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The home stretch
We're in home stretch now... just a few short weeks, and I will be able to say...."This is my home"
My very own home!
How I have waited to say those words... how patient I have been.
I am ready for this.
There is only a few last thing I have to get set up... Tv and Internet pretty much is it. I also have to confirm delivery of our appliances, but other then that we are pretty set to go.
We have a few last projects that we will be working on in these next couple weeks. Some outside stuff, like putting up a clothes line, and repainting my bedroom set, which will be in the spare bedroom. All these things seem so small now. Like, after all we have done so far to fix the house (yard and basement) these items are tiny in comparison to the time and effort we have already put in. I know there will be a lot more to do when we get inside.. like painting, which will be the first thing we do when we get in, but I just can't wait to make this Ryan and I's home... to eventually start our family in this house, and make lots and lots of memories.
I'm smiling right now..
April 28th... is the day we get the keys... =)
I finally feel like my life it coming along exactly how I wanted it to. (Well, not 100%, there are still a few changes that need to be made, but it's getting there)
It's going to be a busy next couple of weeks, and I'm going to love every minute of it.
My very own home!
How I have waited to say those words... how patient I have been.
I am ready for this.
There is only a few last thing I have to get set up... Tv and Internet pretty much is it. I also have to confirm delivery of our appliances, but other then that we are pretty set to go.
We have a few last projects that we will be working on in these next couple weeks. Some outside stuff, like putting up a clothes line, and repainting my bedroom set, which will be in the spare bedroom. All these things seem so small now. Like, after all we have done so far to fix the house (yard and basement) these items are tiny in comparison to the time and effort we have already put in. I know there will be a lot more to do when we get inside.. like painting, which will be the first thing we do when we get in, but I just can't wait to make this Ryan and I's home... to eventually start our family in this house, and make lots and lots of memories.
I'm smiling right now..
April 28th... is the day we get the keys... =)
I finally feel like my life it coming along exactly how I wanted it to. (Well, not 100%, there are still a few changes that need to be made, but it's getting there)
It's going to be a busy next couple of weeks, and I'm going to love every minute of it.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
A broken heart
You know what sucks?
When you have to give back something you love...
When you have literally nothing left to give... and don't know what to do, and you have to give back something you love... a lot.
This is what my family and I had to do Friday night...
We had to give back the precious, cute puppy we had come to know and love in just a short week.
Not because we wanted to.... not at all.
To make a long, devastating story short, the puppy got sick. Really sick.
After 3 vet trips and a very late night emergency trip.. we had done all we could, and gave all we could emotionally and financially. There was not much else we could do for this poor little thing.
It's hard to decide if you did the right thing... was thing wrong to do?
All my mom wanted was her own puppy, her own companion.
We of course had no idea that this adorable, friendly, outgoing, playful puppy would soon fall sick, helpless, a change from the puppy that we knew.
She more then likely had serious neurological issues. This is what we were told after multiple visits, after multiple mis-diagnosis'.... we could run tests to find out for sure... but that would cost a lot of money. The kind of money we just don't have right now... unfortunately.
This was the moment I wished I was blessed with winning the lottery... just so I could help my mom, help really find out what was wrong with this poor innocent puppy. Even if we couldn't have saved her, even if she would never be right again, at least we would know.
It was so hard... you come to love something so quick, and in a blink of an eye it is gone. I just couldn't watch the poor thing anymore.
So, Friday night we brought her back to the breeder.. where according to law you can "return" a puppy within 10 days if it has a serious/deathly illness. It's sad, but it's life. Handing her over was hard... we cried... and I still miss that little cutie now.
Will my mom ever get another dog? I think so.. but not now.
Not until her broken heart heals...
If only there was more we could do. These things happen, and no matter how much you blame yourself, we could have never seen this coming, or never prepared ourselves for the pain we had to go through.
Life hands you many obstacles.. some of which we don't want, but we all have to learn from these experiences and grow with them.
A broken heart will heal.
Amberlee
When you have to give back something you love...
When you have literally nothing left to give... and don't know what to do, and you have to give back something you love... a lot.
This is what my family and I had to do Friday night...
We had to give back the precious, cute puppy we had come to know and love in just a short week.
Not because we wanted to.... not at all.
To make a long, devastating story short, the puppy got sick. Really sick.
After 3 vet trips and a very late night emergency trip.. we had done all we could, and gave all we could emotionally and financially. There was not much else we could do for this poor little thing.
It's hard to decide if you did the right thing... was thing wrong to do?
All my mom wanted was her own puppy, her own companion.
We of course had no idea that this adorable, friendly, outgoing, playful puppy would soon fall sick, helpless, a change from the puppy that we knew.
She more then likely had serious neurological issues. This is what we were told after multiple visits, after multiple mis-diagnosis'.... we could run tests to find out for sure... but that would cost a lot of money. The kind of money we just don't have right now... unfortunately.
This was the moment I wished I was blessed with winning the lottery... just so I could help my mom, help really find out what was wrong with this poor innocent puppy. Even if we couldn't have saved her, even if she would never be right again, at least we would know.
It was so hard... you come to love something so quick, and in a blink of an eye it is gone. I just couldn't watch the poor thing anymore.
So, Friday night we brought her back to the breeder.. where according to law you can "return" a puppy within 10 days if it has a serious/deathly illness. It's sad, but it's life. Handing her over was hard... we cried... and I still miss that little cutie now.
Will my mom ever get another dog? I think so.. but not now.
Not until her broken heart heals...
If only there was more we could do. These things happen, and no matter how much you blame yourself, we could have never seen this coming, or never prepared ourselves for the pain we had to go through.
Life hands you many obstacles.. some of which we don't want, but we all have to learn from these experiences and grow with them.
A broken heart will heal.
Amberlee
Thursday, October 20, 2011
My Life Bucket List...
About a month ago I read a post over on Loves of Life by Katie about her Fall Bucket List.. it was super cute, and she even made a print out for everyone. So, of course I did, because I love things like this! I even did exactly what she said to do.. I put it in a frame so when Ryan and I do these things, we can check them off with a dry erase marker.. super cool right?
Here is a small preview of what she did. If you would like a copy, you can click here to get a printable copy, located at the bottom of her post, be sure to read the post because it's cute too.. like all of her posts!
Well, sadly we haven't done ANY on the list yet... but this weekend we plan on doing a couple.. We were pretty busy with the wedding and all, but it has finally died down. I figured by the end of November will be our cut off for the Fall Bucket List. Hopefully, we can get a few off these checked off! I do hope that she comes out with one for every season.
But.. to get to my point it got me to thinking..
(This is me talking to myself in my head)
"This is super cool... I hope that we can do this for every season... what if I made one for my life? You know like that movie with Jack Nicholson... The Bucket List. I should make my own Bucket List and put it in a frame... yah.. that would be even cooler. Then Ryan can make one too.. and well have our Life Bucket List with our seasonal bucket lists... yah! That would awesome."
So... after I conversed with myself.. I took a few weeks and I really, really thought about the things I want to do in my life... The things I don't want to miss out on. I owe this inspiration to Katie, from Loves of Life. I just loved the look and feel of her list, the idea and the concept - I just had to make my own.
Below is my Life Bucket List.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)