Suck it up.

This week is busy... like every other week of course.

From finishing up painting, to finishing up all the odd and end projects that have been just sitting around the house. I can't wait until I can come home from work one day, and not have a project that needs to be done this instant. I know there will be forever projects, but these seem to have to be done now.

I'm on a deadline people. From family coming in and staying with us, to the housewarming party that I would SOMEDAY like to have. Who knows if that is ever going to happen either.

It'll be nice to be able to relax one day, maybe? That's OK, who needs sleep anyway?

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Now that we are "settled" in... if you want to say it that way, although my previous ^^ comments say were not.. I need to get back on my diet...

ugh.

That's what I have to say about that.

I need to lose another 45 pounds... I set a goal to do it by my birthday, which is in October. I know it can be done, most definitely, it's my motivation that's going.."nahh.. you're fine.. eat that damn ice cream already"

Stupid motivation... I need to find some.. and stop holding myself back. I want to, I sooo desperately want to lose the rest.. I've already lost 50.. I know I can do it.. I just need to start.

The sad thing is.. I don't eat bad, I really don't. I just need to workout, everyday... twice a day if I want to lose it quicker. Probably, not the healthiest way.. but I know I can maintain it, if I just get there. If PCOS wasn't so called, in my life, I wouldn't even be having this conversation with myself. But, what can you do? I need to suck it up is what I need to do.

I sound so harsh on myself, but honestly? It's the only way to get my ass moving in the right direction...

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So, I was at this point where I thought I knew what I wanted in life... job.. kids.. etc. Now? I'm not so sure. I won't go into details too much.. but my mind is a little bit everywhere. that feeling of, What am I doing, What do I want to do, and What am I going to do to get there?

Life is so hard, so I say, although many people would tell me my life isn't hard. I would agree. But, everyone has their struggles... some worse then others.

I need to suck it up in that area too.

Today is just a suck it up type of day.