What a week!

This week has been... busy. To say the least. I have alot going on at work, and just alot going on at home. Stress is my word of the week.

Good news is, I have MOST of the baby stuff put away, and clothes are washed, but they are not put away, they are just laying in the crib. A whole crib full of clothes, piling over. This kid has plenty of clothes that is for sure.

I will be one happy camper when all those clothes are put away, and the nursery is complete. It's just not there yet. We also need to put his pack n plays and other items together. One thing at a time I suppose. I need 6 hands. We should have been made with 6 hands.

EVEN BETTER NEWS THOUGH...

Today I have half a day.. leaving at lunch to go get an ultrasound! Yippe! I am super excited to see the little man again, and see how much he as grown. I'll of course post pictures then. I hope that everything is going well with him, and he is growing how he should... oh the worries of becoming a mom! I know they will never end.

Well.. lots to do today... I'm out!

Baby Shower Highlights

Some of the great pictures that describe my shower so perfectly...


Many, Many Cute baby clothes.

Awesome Koozies for the guys I designed.

Tons of great guests of family and friends who came to celebrate with us!

My love and I enjoying our day.

Tons of belly grabbing, to which I don't mind.

A gift from my husband, who is so sweet. The Willow Tree "Our Gift"

And many more noteworthy pictures displaying the total cuteness of my shower!

Weekend Review: Photoshoot & Shower!

Saturday was one busy day for this momma to be. It started out with a maternity shoot with the hubs. That was a lot of fun. We did tons of pictures around the house, and I can't wait to see how they turn out. I have a few that I will post as teasers, because that's all I have right now! My friend Rebecca is our photographer and she just does fantastic pictures, I know they will come out awesome. (EEEk, can't wait)

I had my shower as well, which was amazing. I am so thankful for all our friends and family who came out to celebrate us bringing to the world this little boy! We got so much great stuff, that is going to help out so much. We played some games, opened up TONS of gifts, and had some awesome food. It was a relaxing day, and I couldn't have pictured it any other way. I will be getting the pictures from that up on my computer soon and will post some of the highlights in the next coming days. Stay tuned for that!

Now that I have had my shower, my living room looks like a tornado of cute stuff has gone through it. I've been organizing one thing at a time, and as of last night it actually started to look like my living room again. I started going through the clothes and preparing them for their first wash so I can organize and put them away then. THIS child will NOT need anymore clothes for awhile, that's for sure. HOLY CRAP he got alot of clothes. Just looking at the tiny little outfits and cuteness of it all makes me so so so excited. His room is coming alot great, and hopefully should have it completely finished within the next 2 weeks. That is my goal!

Reality has struck now that I have 9 weeks left. Yep, double digits now, wow. It's going to go so fast, and at times I'm ready for it to go fast, and yet, I'm scared to death. I guess that is an emotion every mom to be has, so much change is ahead of us.

BUT.... I know we have tons of great family and friends that will be there for us to help us out, that I know I can count on, and helps ease my anxiety on the whole, HOLY CRAP WE HAVE TO CARE FOR THIS TINY HUMAN BEING. No one ever knows what they are doing at first, and I think all parents STILL learn even as their children grow into adults. We do what we can, how we can, and that's what I keep telling myself. "You'll be a great mom, don't worry."

I can say that I am excited for Fall now though. Fall is my favorite season, and THIS Fall I have a lot to look forward to, BRING IT ON.

My sneak peak of some of our maternity shoot.

Update...It's FRIDAY!

Woo hoo, we have reach Friday people.

**Quick update on my OB apt yesterday. Dr said that more then likely my problems are indeed my gallbladder and that is sounds VERY likely it is the cause of all my pain. The solution? Pretty much what I figured she would say, "there is not much we can do at this time." OK, so I knew that, I knew that I wasn't going to ask to have emergency surgery to have it removed that instant... but still, I just want to figure out WHAT these pains are. I will get some bloodwork done next week, and if I have another attack will then get an ultrasound. So, at this point... it's just continuing with this strict diet.

TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW

Tomorrow is a big, exciting, fun filled day for me and the hubs. I will start tomorrow morning out by having a maternity shoot, and I am super stoked. I have my outfits picked out, hopefully they look ok.. if not oh well. I have a few spots in mind to take some pictures, and couple props. I can't wait to see how they turn out. I just LOVE pictures.

THEN, tomorrow afternoon is my BABY SHOWER! Yes, super super excited. I know it's just going to be a kick-ass one. Perfect weather, bbq, family, friends, and super cute baby stuff... and of course the guys (and probably some of the gals) will have beer on their list. It's just going to be a kick back time to celebrate this joyful time in our lives. I wouldn't say we like to do things big, but we like to do them on the bigger side then normal =)

My mom informed me it would be my last party she's throwing me (jokingly of course). No more graduations, showers, weddings... it kind of made me sad to think about it. Made me think how old I am now, that although every kid we have will be a big milestone, this is my last BIG MILESTONE in the sense of growing up. Unless I think about my 25 year anniversary or 50 etc, but what else really is there?

I love me some parties, so I will just have to think of a reason to have a big party in the future. I guess that's where I take over as Mom and begin throwing big parties for Kayden. His first birthday I am sure will be one to remember. I love to entertain, and not to brag, I think I'm pretty darn good at it from the food to the decorations to it all. It's just my thing.

Updates and photos will of course be shared then...

Going to relax tonight, in preps for a busy day tomorrow for this prego.

Enjoy your weekends everyone!

Tisk Task...

A little bit here and there for you today....

Last night I spent most of my evening cleaning my house... and finally shredding up the zucchini thats been sitting on my counter forever now. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having our garden, but it's definitely a lot of work, and the vegetables always seem to come in and ripen at the WORST times. The times when I have a million other things to do. That's life.

I have my OB apt today. It's usually not that big of a deal for me, I mean they are quick 15 minute checkups that I do get to hear that precious heartbeat every time. Today though I will talk to her about the pains I have been having and see what they say. It kind of has me nervous, hopefully though it really isn't anything bad and I can laugh at myself after all of this. I'll keep ya up to date.

I had a dream last night that the baby was stretching in my stomach (nothing new, I was probably dreaming that because he has been just stretching my belly like crazy past couple days) anyway.. he stretched SO MUCH that his face was popping out of my belly! I could see every feature of his face. I screamed to Ryan to quickly come look. And the baby yawned and stretched and we could see all his cuteness, yes in my skin on my belly. Kinda creepy if you really think about it, but I think it was just me being so excited to see what he is going to look like. I just can't wait to hold his little self.

THIS Saturday is my baby shower, and I am SO SO SO SOOOOO excited! It's going to be a perfect day, with the weather going to be beautiful and being able to spend the day with all my family and friends. It's going to be a fun time, I can't wait to share about it afterwards.

Before my shower I am having a Maternity photo shoot! I am also, very excited for this! We are having photos done by my friend Rebecca who also did our 1 Year Anniversary photos last year. I just LOVED those photos and I knew she would do a spectacular job with my maternity shoot. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. I also have a few things up my sleeve for it too. I know they will turn out great, hopefully she'll get my good side, you know, my belly, not my growing ass ;)

So much going on this week has my anxiety (in a good way) going up! Just got to finish cleaning up my house tonight and I'll feel better!

TMI? I don't care.

I've had a pretty easy pregnancy thus far (knock on wood - which I really just did)

I've had a few "episodes" which when they started to happen I didn't know if it was heartburn, gas, or just me dying. I decided it was just gas... and not the kind that makes you do disgusting bodily functions, just the kind that is trapped and hurts like a mo-fo.

Well, after having 4 major attacks, and few smaller ones in between I had my worst yet the other day. So, when I start to feel that feeling, I quickly inhale a few gas pills (thinking this helps), and then when it's ready it goes away.

Saturday night I started those same feelings, yes on my vacation... Let me describe them to you.

1. I feel like I am about to die. Seriously.
2. My chest tightens SO hard that breathing, just seems impossible, to the point I DON'T want to breath.
3. It moves, from my chest to my back, and back and forth.
4. I feel nauseous. clammy, and about to pass out.
5. I literally cannot find a position that makes it any better, the pain is CONSTANT and does NOT go away giving me any breaks, until BAM. It's gone.

It just feels like my chest is literally going to explode. It's a horrible feeling. My last one lasted just over an hour. An hour of constant pain.

So, while I was having one of my "attacks" my mom informed me she really didn't think it was JUST ordinary gas or even maybe heartburn (which I have yet to ever have, so I don't really know what it feels like) that it could possibly be my gallbladder.

What?

Just another one of those organs you DON'T think about.

After an hour of excruciating pain, and I'm serious it's freaking horrible. Even online it compares the pain to people thinking they are having a heart attack, and even worse then labor. (If I can get through this, maybe labor won't be so bad?!? Hey, hopes are up ok?) Then just like that, it just disappears. After I started to lookup gallbladder disease/ gallbladder stones, etc, my symptoms fit it pretty darn good. Great.

I have a Doctor apt Thursday, in which I will discuss my possibly gallbladder problems, and see what they say. I just want to figure out what this problem is, because it has me scared to death to even eat. So, I'm sticking to fruits and veggies... everything else is practically out. (sigh)

We will see what the good doctors say... this "disease" as they call it can be hereditary and it just so happens my mother developed the same thing while pregnant with me and had hers out shortly after having me. I'm just so lucky.

Hopefully, it isn't my gallbladder and I don't have to have it eventually removed, because that would be nice. Maybe it's just something else... who knows.

Oh, and I will also find out my results from my sugar test, my 2nd one that is. HOPEFULLY, I didn't fail that too, because my diet for the next 2 months will be pretty bad, in the fact that I won't be able to feed my cravings of chocolate and ice cream, on top of trying to stay away from every saturated fat, and stuff with cholesterol, if these attacks are indeed gallbladder attacks.

Honesty, it's not like I eat horribly. Actually, we eat pretty healthy. Lots of veggies and lean meats (turkey, deer, chicken, fish) It's just the occasional dinner in which we go out somewhere, or you know when you are on vacation and don't think about the fried calamari you just ate. UGH. No more occasional indulgences, because I pay for it. I do have a big sweet tooth though, so that one is hard to keep down, especially since it seems this baby loves him some chocolate.

Wish me luck.

Who knew something so small can give SO MUCH PAIN.

Back to reality

Monday's after a vacation are the worst, but I am here, even though I am barely awake.

We had a great, relaxing time at the beach. Two days of beautiful weather. It was about 75-78 the whole time and was the perfect temperature. Not TOO hot, but not cold at all. The water was also nice, temperature wise that is. IT WAS NOT NICE in the fact it was rough, VERY choppy. So, this prego could not get in past her knees without the fear of being swept away.

We spent the long weekend at a house near the bay side, and was a great house to relax in. We grilled some great food one night (Salmon, Shrimp and veggies) and went out to dinner the next. Crab cake sandwich delight for me. YUM.

Doesn't he look pleasant? Didn't want to smile.

Overall, it was a great time to getaway for a little. It wasn't a week long vacation, but good enough to get a slight recharge.

I have a busy, busy week ahead of me. From stuff at work, to stuff at home. It's that time to start getting some stuff done before this baby comes. 30 weeks, means NOT much time left. Time to kick it into high gear.

Off to the Beach

Finally, we are heading to the beach tonight. I can finally kick back and relax for a few days. It's not a week long vacation, but a few days will do me fine.

We haven't had any time this summer to have a vacation, nor the money due to MANY things coming up. But, luckily we got a nice beach house to stay in for the weekend with my Mom (thanks to some family friends!) I am super excited!

I am hoping the weather will stay nice, but even if not, just the idea of being away from everything for a few days will be relaxing enough. Sunshine is always a plus though.

Thankfully, I have 2 bathing suites that actually fit... surprise surprise. One is a 2 piece, so that will be an interesting with THIS belly.

I plan on not having a worry on my mind... we will see how long I go with that.

Off to the beach for me! See you all later!

Hello Bitchfest.

It's a rainy, rainy day here. It started storming last night, and just poured all night. So, all the roads were flooded... days like this make me want to be snuggled back into bed. Ah bed, let's talk about that.

No, actually first, lets talk about my ever growing BACK PAIN. UGH. I already have a bad back to begin with. I've always dealt with back pain, and the aches of having a mild case of scoliosis. It sucks, but has been something I am familiar with. I knew getting pregnant my back was going to suffer, and it is.

I feel like I shouldn't be in this much pain sometimes with just how far along I am, but so be it. I mean, it's not an ALL DAY pain. I'm pretty comfortable through the days. I have a comfy chair and foot rest that keeps my legs up all day at my desk, I get up every now and then to stretch, but otherwise get to sit on my butt all day, and just switch positions through the day to keep my  back guessing.

At night is a WHOLE other story. I come home, and do work.... clean, dinner, you know the normal shit every wife has to do, like I had mentioned in a previous post, I just can't SIT STILL, it's not in my nature. SO, here I am pushing myself to get things done, when I really feel sometimes I should just relax. I figured this is probably my last month of  being able to actually get shit done, so I am pushing through it... MUST PUSH THROUGH.

But my back screams at me... ouch. Ryan chuckles how I walk, or how I get up, but DAMN it takes me sometime to get moving, feels like my hips just won't let me walk. WHAT IS HE DOING IN THERE TO ME!?

So, back to the bed... I now on top of my usual pee wake up, wake up to back pain. When I try to reposition myself you would think that I am dying. I feel like I can hardly move, it is such a task to just roll over. I'm just one round ball. I know they say you're not suppose to sleep on your back, but it's just one of the positions that I can sleep in. I go to sleep on my side, and sometimes stay there a long while, but then I wake up in pain, and kinda roll to my back, and then I wake up again and roll to my side. My schedule all night.

Just one of the awesome effects of carrying a child. The effect you know that can happen, but just don't really "think" about until your 29 weeks and afraid to get off the couch. Oh, October cannot come soon enough.

I know I could be worse... I really do. Overall, I've had it pretty easy if I had to compare. I haven't suffered from heartburn (yet, knock on wood - and I really just did knock on wood) or other things that some women suffer from. I do have swelling, which freaks me out sometimes. But, besides the normal stuff that almost every pregnant women deals with, I haven't had too much to complain about.

With that thought, my pregnancy bitch is over. Did you enjoy that?

Hello Big Boy.

Weekend Review

Monday is here... and I'm tired, of course, most people are Monday mornings... Poor Monday, it gets so much hate.

My weekend was good... nothing crazy happened, but we got a lot done.

Saturday morning consisted of me getting up early to have my second Glucose test. Everyone is always, oh they're not that bad. And, no they really aren't, but they make me sick to my stomach, and SUPER SUPER tired, like I crash. Plus, waiting an hour is such a waste of my time. But, I got it done. Lets hope I pass this so I don't have to do the 3 hour one. BECAUSE I'll really not be happy.

I then went to Costco for a few things and it was like destiny. There, in the outer isle was the Keurig I've been saying I was going to get, and it was cheaper then anywhere else (of course it was Costco) so, since I have a broken coffee maker at home, I did an impulse buy. And trust me, I am not really an impulse buyer. But, I knew I had some extra cash in my savings, so then I decided to complete deplete it and get it! I have to say that so far, I LOVE IT. BEST IMPULSE BUY YET.

That afternoon we FINALLY, after a year, our big microwave was installed. Our kitchen wasn't designed to have a wall mounted microwave above the stove, so it sat in the garage... for a year.  I bought a cheap one at Wal-Mart to hold us over. THAT MICROWAVE SUCKED. AH, I hated it. It hardly worked, the tray never stayed on the rollers, and you had to double the time for anything just to get it warm.

BUT, we had Ryan's uncle come over and install it for us. I wasn't going to wait anymore! I wanted it in before this baby comes, one thing off the checklist (which by the way I did make).

Although, we had to move the cabinets up high (Now Ryan can only reach them) I don't think it looks bad at all! Now I got a little more counter space too. Sweet.

Sunday was going to be my "relax" day. Yeah, that NEVER seems to happen. I just can't sit still. I can't just relax? What is wrong with me? Seriously? Instead of sitting on my ass all day, doing odds and ends I decided to vacuum the whole downstairs, do lots of laundry, make some homemade meadow tea, bake an apple pie. Make a loaf of homemade bread (which by the way was a complete fail) PLUS clean and organize the kitchen some, and then finished it off by preparing our bedroom for it's cleaning tonight.

No relax there. BUT, I did sit down in between jobs, so I guess I did relax some. It's just not in my nature to do nothing, it never will.

My Apple Crumb Pie, deliciousness.

Wanting the weekends.

You know sometimes I wish we didn't have to sleep. Just think of all the wasted time we spend sleeping? Why couldn't our bodies be made to just go and go and go. Maybe then my life wouldn't seem like such a blur of eat, sleep, work.

I feel like everyday is just a day you wish away in hopes that the weekend gets here faster. That's obviously got to say something about MOST of our lives, and it's the fact that we only look forward to 48 of the 168 hours in our week, we only seem to enjoy 29% of our week. I'm not saying everyone is this way, but a majority of people wish away their week in hopes of their fun, or just relaxing weekend coming up.

If we weren't forced to work so many hours in the day, maybe we would enjoy the rest of our week a little more. And I say forced as in, I HAVE TO WORK TO SURVIVE. No one in particulary is forcing me to be here, I just know that THIS is what you have to do. Some people don't "get" that.

In a sense, Monday through Friday I am forced to do something 66% of my day. That is sleeping and working. I HAVE to sleep and I HAVE to work, but if I could choose I would do neither. Should have played the power ball last night, because that could have eliminated one of those.

Today feels like a blur so far. I didn't get the best sleep last night, seems to be the new normal lately. I wake up so uncomfortable with my back just aching. OH, the joys of pregnancy. Guess I should get use to NOT getting any good sleep.

It's Thursday, rainy and I just keep thinking about my bed. (sigh)

This post really seem to go no where, sorry about that.

Picturing my baby boy...

Last night I had a dream that I had Kayden, well not like in the hospital had him, he was just already here, probably about 9 months old too. He was a cutie. I often wonder how he will look when he comes. By his ultrasound pictures so far he definitely looks like he's going to be one cute little boy. I mean, he does have some good looking parents who created him.

It's hard to imagine him in there, rolling around and anywhere around 15 or more inches. It just doesn't feel like I am carrying something so big inside me. I mean, seriously, that is big. Think about a foot long sub, he's bigger and heavier then that... inside my stomach just sitting there, or kicking me.. whatever he's doing. It's amazing and creepy all the same when you think about it.

He moves so much now, just squirming and turning. I try and take in all I can, because I know in just a few short months, I'll miss it... maybe?

If I had to pick what features Kayden took from each of us.. this is probably how it would go. Of course, I'll love him either way, but just for fun...

Eyes -  I hope Kayden gets my blue eyes, I just think that would be adorable. If he gets Ryan's brown eyes that would be fine too.
Ears -  We both have good ears, although I think mine work a bit better....
Nose -  His daddy's. My nose is just too pointy, but Ryan has a nice button nose.
Mouth -  Hid daddy's, or mine really. We both have completely different lips that are nice all the same!
Hair -  I guess mine. Ryan and I both have darker hair, but mine is straight and probably would work better for a boy. Ryan's is curly when it grows out.
Skin -  Definitely his dads. Ryan has dark, nice skin. Mine, not so much.
Teeth -  MINE! I have perfect teeth, and I hope Kayden gets that trait so we can save some money at the dentist!
Body Build -  Ryan for sure. I always struggled with weight and Ryan, well he can eat a whole cow and lose weight. Plus he has a nice build for a man.
Feet -  Luckily we both have nice feet, so either of ours would be fine!
Hands -  Hmm, not really sure on this, both our hands shape wise are nice, but Ryan works with his hands all day, he's a mechanic, so maybe Ryan's?
Immune System - I believe Ryan and I both have a good Immune system. Although, I have no allergies/asthma, etc. Not sure if that falls under Immune System (haha) Well, say OVERALL health then. We both are pretty healthy, although we BOTH have had our fair share of injuries. Hopefully, Kayden doesn't get that trait from either of us!

No matter how he comes out I will love him so, as I already do. But, it's exciting to wonder just what he will get from each of us, how our genes will blend and make this perfect little baby. I can't wait to meet him and see.

You ever do one of those "What will my baby look like" apps or websites? It makes me laugh. You put in yours and someone else's picture and it morphs them into what your baby will look like. It's creepy and completely doesn't work, but it's kinda fun.

I wish I had a future gazing ball... but in the meantime, looking at his little picture will do just fine. I think by looking at him now, he has my mouth and Ryan's nose and face structure. In 3 weeks we'll be able to see him again (almost 32 weeks), can't wait to see how he has changed in the time since this picture (19 weeks).

I just can't wait to love up on this little guy.

My brain this morning...

My car goes into the shop today to be inspected. I hate spending money on my car. The other day I figured out how much we spend a month on our cars, and it was horrendous. SO MUCH MONEY. From car payments, gas and insurance, I literally would be rich without it. Makes me sometimes look at the Amish and start to think, but quickly shake my head. What if cards DIDN'T cost so much, just think how much extra money a month we would have.... (sigh) It also doesn't help I don't live somewhere where public transportation could help with that problem. Not that I would want to move just for public transportation, but damn, I can't even ride a bike anywhere.

I think this week is going to go slow, because there is nothing planned this week, and next weekend and the weekend after are going to be my fun weekends for this month. I can't wait to go to the beach next weekend, and after that it's my "not" surprise shower.

Let me just touch on the shower thing, YES it's not a surprise, and YES I didn't want it to be that way. Is that so hard to understand? WHY does it have to be a surprise? WHY do I have to show up somewhere, not prepared, not dressed to how I might have wanted to be dressed? Luckily, my mom knows me best, and told me about it. Good choice Mom. Besides, I wanted Ryan included as well, and a few of my ideas too (No, I am not planning my whole shower, even if that's what it seems.) It's going to be fun. It's more of the celebration I am looking forward to. Yes, it's suppose to be all about gifts (which we totally need, registered at Babies R Us - cough cough) BUT honestly, I am looking forward to spending the time with our families, celebrating this gift that will be coming in just 3 short months! That's why it's less of a "traditional" baby shower and more of a BBQ Party! JUST how I would have wanted it (You go Mom again, she knows me) I am super excited for it.

Hello 28 weeks. It's hard to believe I am now 7 months pregnant. With 3 months to go, I'm starting to get antsy on things. Maybe it's nesting, but not to the full effect yet. I know things that I want to organize and clean, but still just look at them, so I haven't hit the, IT MUST BE DONE NOW stage. It's getting there though. I'm actually thinking about making an organized schedule of what I want to get done before the baby is due, that way I get those things done earlier and not rushing at the end, when I am sure I am not going to want to be doing much of anything really.

I think I'll make that now actually...

Happy Tuesday.

Creating Life, one stress at a time

I debated if I wanted to write this post, it's a little personal, but I find it sometimes nice to get things out in the open. Although keeping certain things a secret is perfectly fine, I believe somethings are beneficial for someone to talk about. So, if you have some time sit back and enjoy, because it's a long one.

I wanted to share our little journey of conception, and don't worry, I won't get into too much detail. I'll spare you.

To really start from the beginning, you might want to read THIS POST. I've mentioned in previous posts about having PCOS, weight gain, and other complications I have had to go through. That post gives you the rundown of my history with PCOS, from when I was diagnosed to the horrible conversations I had with multiple doctors telling me that I may never have a baby.

...and boy were they wrong.

After finally finding a great doctor, a specialist up at Penn State Hershey hospital, I began my journey, so after many tests and appointments, and finally a diagnosis and a plan, he told me that when Ryan and I were ready to have a baby to come back and see him.

Ryan and I began to discuss it a little here and there. Our hopes of when. I was pretty excited/scared/anxious, you name it. I was definitely ready, wayyy before Ryan was. I didn't want to push him though, I wanted HIM to be ready as well. So, I told him, when you know you are ready, you tell me, and I'll make my DR. apt.

He finally said the words one night to me, "I think I'd like to have a baby now"

Such sweet words! I was super happy... and made the appointment the next day. I had to wait a few months (I believe 2ish) to get in.

I knew it could be a long ordeal. Who knew what I would have to go through, or for how long. I was scared that maybe those other doctors would be right, that I would never become a momma. I tried to keep those thoughts tucked away... I needed to have HOPE, and I never let that hope go away, even when people told me not to get my hopes up. What else did I have?

I had to have a few procedures done before I could start my first treatment. One procedure was not very fun, but I got through it. (Let me add that insurance DOES NOT cover infertility treatments - one more added stress)

Finally about 4 months after we decided we were ready, it was time to take my first round. We decided to start out with just taking a fertility drug called Clomid. An easy pill that you take for 5 days. Let me tell you though, HOLY HORMONES. I felt so bad for my husband, HAH. The last 2 days I was a hormonal wreck. I can remember yelling at him for everything, I was like a walking bomb and I knew it. That was the worst part, it was like I couldn't help myself. I just remember telling myself, "my poor husband." He took it like a champ though, he was so sweet with it all. I also was crying for no reasons really, I remember watching a movie at my parents and I just started bawling my eyes out. My mom laughed so hard as I was gulping yelling "DAMN YOU HORMONES." Good times...

As I approached the end of my cycle, I was SURE that this was not the month. Not the first month? I was told it could take a couple rounds to work. I was also feeling mother nature come on. I knew I was going to be starting round 2 in just a week. Well, that due date came, and nothing. Hmm. Well, I was use to never having a normal schedule anyway, maybe this was how it was suppose to be. Hmm.

A friend of mine who I was confiding in through this journey (only a few people knew that we were trying, people I trusted, people I could talk to it about. I just didn't want the whole world to know, at least not yet.) convinced me to take a test Friday morning if I hadn't gotten good old Aunt Flo yet. Well Friday morning arrived. At this time I was working at my previous employer and it was my LAST day there to top it off. So, as Ryan left for work, I snuck into the bathroom and took a test.

Within 2 seconds... yes very quickly it came up a serious positive, there was no denying it was positive. Both lines were so dark. I just sat there looking at it.... was this FOR-REAL? Yep. I started to cry, and cried for about 10 minutes there sitting on the toilet. (haha) So, after I got myself together, I ventured off to work...

I was so excited. I ran out to the store on my lunch break, and got Ryan a few things to give to him that night to break the news to him. On top of the day already being crazy because it was my last day of work, I was in agony with this little secret I had. I couldn't wait to tell Ryan. I kept texting him all day, he eventually started to realize, something was up.

Finally, I got home and I had a little gift for him that I put out on his chair and told him I had a gift for him. He of course thought that he had forgotten and anniversary or something, and exclaimed, "WHAT, what did I forget, I didn't get you anything." I told him to just open it! So, he did and inside was a card, a cute little outfit, and some "Dad" scrapbooking items and of course the Positive Test. He was thrilled.

I called the Doctors office first thing Monday morning, and they got us in 2 days later to confirm that I was INDEED pregnant! I even got the chance to have an ultrasound then at 5 1/2 weeks. You couldn't really see anything yet, but you could see his home, it was awesome. I was going to be a Momma.

In the weeks to follow we told close family and friends, and when I was comfortable at around 14 weeks we told the world. It was so great to finally get it out there, what a secret to keep in!

I just couldn't believe that after one round we were blessed with our little boy. I can't even imagine going through more rounds, or other methods of treatment (which would have been next for us) I sit there and think how blessed we were that we only had to go through that one month, because it's stressful enough trying to have a baby, but add on the million DR appointments, the high medical bills NOT covered, it starts to get to you, but as everyone would say it's worth it. 

Looking back at the month, there were definitely signals to me, signs of early pregnancy. I can remember the week or so before just being incredibly tired, to the point I was dozing off sitting at my desk or going places. I was exhausted. The cramps? Yeah, that was just baby making his comfy home. And those cramps happened off and on for a few weeks (hated that, talk about scary - I remember one time freaking out and having a breakdown thinking that something awful was going to happen)

BUT, here I am 7 months later, with a big old boy rolling around in my tummy. All of it was worth it, and to the Doctors that told me I would never have a baby (I remember it as if it was yesterday) TAKE THAT. Who knows what the future will bring if we decide to have more kids (Ryan is all about it) and if I will have to go through the fertility again, or maybe not. Either way, I have no doubt now that God has a plan for everyone, it's all in HIS timing. I keep faith in that. He gave me this precious gift because he knew I was ready for him. There is always a reason.

We can't wait to become parents. I know it'll be no easy task, and there will be many, many more stressful nights, but it's all apart of life.

and.. I'm ready.

The first ultrasound at 5 1/21 weeks. You couldn't see him yet, but you could see his home.

A little bit of this, and that

I came into work a little late today due to having a Dentist appointment. I don't mind the dentist at all, actually I enjoy going to make sure my teeth are fine. It's always a worry of mine that I will go in and have a cavity or something. Just to enlighten you, I've never had anything done to my teeth. No braces, retainers, nor have I ever had a cavity in my life (knock on wood)... Nope, just perfect teeth thus far in my life. So, I enjoy going to make sure they stay that way! Let's hope Baby Kayden gets his momma's teeth.

It's Friday, rejoice!

Nothing crazy going on this weekend. Hanging out with friends tonight, and Ryan's little cousin has her birthday party tomorrow. The rest will be spent doing who knows what. Probably cleaning. I've got the urge to clean... hmm nesting? I'm already a big cleaner, but I'm talking like some serious deep down cleaning.

Can I just say that I have been loving this weather?! It's been in the beautiful hight 70s to lower 80s the past week or two, and it's been wonderful. I am thankful for that, especially being 7 months pregnant. Hopefully August treats me nicely.

I have a lot to look forward to this month... we're finally going to get our mini-vacation and go to the beach for a few days, and I CANT wait to relax. My (not) surprised baby shower is coming up as well. I'll share more details on that once it's done, but it's going to be a blast!

If you haven't noticed yet, I've been doing some updating to my blog. I've yet to really figure out how I want this blog to be, or what all I want to do to it. But, I think I'm finally getting it to a point that I love. You'll see I've added a few new pages for you to visit up top. An About Me, Design and Hudler Homestead (which is still under construction - I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with that one yet)

I'm ready to sleep in tomorrow. How sad is it that I can't wait to sleep in. Guess I better enjoy it now! Because I know how many of you mommas are thinking that as you read that line. Don't worry, I AM ENJOYING IT.

Hope your weekend is splendid.

Bump Alert - 27 1/2 weeks.

So here I am, almost 28 weeks, ok 27 weeks and 4 days - it's over halfway.

But, whoa, 7 months? This time is flying by. I can remember the wait to announce I was pregnant, it felt like forever. The first weeks were so hard, keeping it a secret, being scared of what could happen. Now, here I am in my 3rd trimester, the final homestretch.

I want to treasure every moment of this pregnancy, and I have been (to my best ability) but I'm ready for this baby to make his entrance, and for my body to go back to being able to do day to day tasks, without huffing and puffing, or muscles pulling... but mainly, I just want to meet my little man.

I have another ultrasound in a month (SO FAR AWAY) and I can't wait to see his cute little face again.

So.. the bump alert. My belly is definitely growing everyday it seems now. Although, my husband tells me it's not as big as what I think it is. HAH.

Here is my 18 weeks vs 27 weeks photo. I took this photo Monday. Same shirt, and definitely NOT as loose. Obviously you can see the difference, but I guess looking at it now, it's not THAT extreme. Must be all in my head.

18 weeks

27 weeks

I've done pretty good in the gaining weight department so far. I won't lie I started with some extra pounds to begin with (something that WILL be coming off after this baby). 1st trimester I lost weight, I'm not exactly sure how much really, because as I was losing my weight baby K was gaining his weight. I think I lost about 15 pounds. I just NOW, reached my before baby weight, plus 2 pounds now. So, I guess you could say I've only gained 2 pounds this pregnancy thus far.

I'm not really worrying about it to be honest though. I just want to be healthy for the baby, so if I gain X amount, it's whatever. I'll deal with it after, but I think I've been doing pretty good so far. I know eating for "two" really isn't real, it's more eating a few extra calories a day. PLUS I knew going into this that gaining weight for me is something that comes EASY. Something I've always dealt with in my life, which I eventually found out why, you can read that past post here.

I do enjoy my bumpity bump. Now, that I actually look pregnant, something I was excited for. I enjoy seeing him twist and turn in there (there was straight alien stuff happening last night) and knowing that I am growing a little miracle inside of me. It's a great feeling.

This was a few photos I got the hubby to take for our 20 week gender announcement, I thought he did pretty good! He thought he was being so artistic. =)

My favorite time of the year is Fall. I'm always excited for it, but this year, well this year brings on a whole new excitement.


Follow my blog with Bloglovin