47 DAYS

There is only 47 days until my wedding...

holy shit.

I made a long.. long.. list of what still needs to be done and bought. ouch.. almost had a heart attack. But, it will get done and be here before I know it. It's actually a little thrilling... having so much to do in so little time! It's like a mad rush to the finish line (and I was never a runner)

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I had a horrible weekend... eating wise. I went off my game.. for TWO days. Not even like, gorge myself to death eating, just eating as I like to call normal. That was a mistake. If you recall from an earlier post It gets a little personal, I talked about my "disorder" My lady "disorder"... no its not like a life threatening disorder.. just a pain in my ass disorder. If I had the chance.. I'd really punch it in the face. Yeah, it's that kind of disorder....

But.. anyway... so I ate normal.. not even completely 100% normal, because I didn't overdue it.. and I even ate healthy at times (that was my self-conscious telling me to be good)

so.. i step on the scales Monday morning (last weighed myself Friday morning)

My jaw dropped... 5 DAMN POUNDS... that's right not a loss.. a gain of 5 pounds in merely less than 3 days... oh yeah.. it's possible people.

Screw you "disorder" and screw you metabolism... it's back to fruits and veggies this week... and a bit more exercising .. because I WILL lose at least 10 more pounds before my wedding... (now 15 counting the extra 5)

It can be such a let down when you realize that you really can never be normal. I can't eat like my fiance... which let me tell you is ridiculous, and makes me jealous 24/7, because he has a metabolism like a rabbit.. (I think rabbits have fast metabolisms?... just a guess) So, it's hard living with someone who can eat any minute of the day and still look good. But, for me to realize this will never be me.. well, kinda sucks. I enjoy food.. I enjoy trying new foods. But, I really have to stay away from anything bad. I guess that is not such a bad thing though. And techincally, I haven't really had and bad food in months.. months! I can't tell you the last time I had fast food.. or chinese (which is my favorite) It has been awhile. But, you know what I have notice? Bad food makes me feel... bad. It makes me feel so groggy and tired, and sometimes just sick to my stomach. So, why do I crave it so much when it does nothing for me... ugh... it can be such a nightmare. Although, this hasn't happened with sweet food, just fatty food. I am not quite sure if there will ever be a day I don't eat sweets.... that would be when the world seriously ends.

Until then... I will just have to enjoy an ice cream every now and then.. in moderation of course.


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FYI... I added some more pics in the cake decorating and animals page.. take a look!

amberlee