Hello again… Here's the story

So.. its been.. awhile.

Weeks to be exact since the last time I wrote. And let me tell you the last 7 weeks have been the most amazing, crazy, blurred, sleepless weeks, because yes, I HAD my baby.

I don't know why I stopped writing, but it could be the fact I have been busy getting back into a routine with this little guy. I think I'm there… to my best ability, to OUR best ability.

I wanted to share with you his story.. his birthday. I know some of you know it, but some don't. So sit back and enjoy.. it's bound to be a long one.

It was October 21st, and I went in for one of my scheduled weekly appointments, just the checkup I was 39 weeks. They did their normal routine checkup and to no surprise my blood pressure was high. I had been dealing with high blood pressure and border line pre-eclampsia for awhile ( I think I spelled that right)… so, they were worried of course, and didn't want me to get sick, so off to triage I went and spent the next 5 hours in there, ALONE. It sucked, but by the end they had schedule me to be induced THE NEXT EVENING. holy crap. Was I ready? My head was spinning. My bags had been packed for weeks, the house was deep cleaned and organized and while everything physical was ready, my anxiety began to go through the roof! Emotionally, I wasn't sure if I was ready. I was excited, scared, nervous and every emotion under the book, and so was my husband. BUT.. I did like that I knew when he was coming, I didn't have to wait around not knowing if every pain I felt was the possibility of him coming. No, I knew. I was able to prepare myself as best as I could.

Tuesday night rolled around, we packed up the car and headed to hospital around 7 pm.

Last prego photo, right before we left.

We got there and got settled into our room, and began the medicine process. We finally fell asleep, which was so hard with our excitement and nerves going, but we managed to get some rest before 9 am rolled around when they started me on the pitocin (to get my labor going). A few hours past and my contractions were getting stronger and closer, they even backed the medicine down because I was doing great on my own. At 11:50 am, my water broke on its own. Talk about a weird thing. I thought I had peed myself (seriously) because we were sitting there and my mom was there too, and we were talking and laughing, so I naturally thought I peed myself because I was laughing pretty hard. Until the gush of water, then I knew, nope my water just broke.

After that, things picked up.. and fast. By time I was 5 cm, I had had enough… GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL. Luckily, the anesthesiologist wasn't busy and came right in. The process on the other hand didn't go so quickly. I have a mild case of scoliosis, so my back is not perfectly straight. It took him SIX tries to get that bad boy in. OUCH. Trying to hold still through contractions and him pricking me OVER and OVER.. not easy. He finally got it in, and wow, instant relief. The next few hours were a breeze and by 6 pm I was fully dilated and ready to push.

Two hours later (still pushing) there wasn't much progress. I was pushing fine, so the nurse told me, he just didn't want to come out. They only let first time moms push up to 3 hours I was told.. and I was getting to that cut off point.

But then, his heart rate started to go up and it wasn't coming down. The nurse didn't wait at all to call the doctor. As the doctor walked in with a sad look on her face, I knew what was coming. She told me she hated this part, especially after I had been laboring all day, but it was time to take him via c-section.

I cried… and cried.

I'm not sure if it was more scared then anything, or the fact I felt like I had failed. But it sucked. That was at 8:30 pm on October 23, 2013.

I was rushed in, dosed up, and laid on the table with oxygen and probably 10 nurses and doctors in the room. Ryan was put in his awesome outfit, and was feeling the nerves as well. I didn't feel a thing.. I felt like a rock to be honest. Couldn't move or feel anything.. it was a strange feeling. There was one thing I did feel though, when my son was born as they were pulling him out.

It was 9:04 pm. Happy Birthday Kayden Douglas Hudler.

He came out screaming and was 8 pounds and 7 ounces, with a head full of hair, and his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck 3 times. He was perfect though and passed his tests great, he was one healthy boy.

The rest of our 3 day stay went great. We were learning all we could and getting prepared to be parents on our own. 

As much as I wanted that perfect birth, I didn't get… it didn't matter. I had a perfect baby boy. Yes, the pain sucked, I have a scar, but I would take all the pain in the world again and again for this little guy who has filled my heart with so much love.

I love this boy.